a horrible day..... woke up early to a long list of miscalls and messages.... not many of them where good..waking up to terrible news is the most irritating thing i have had in my life...the people i hate the most..... with information that makes me feel like i hit rock bottom every time...
this feeling of helplessness its shitty...... i hate this feeling ... it makes it so hard for me too work
there is no motivation to do what i do ... why am i doing what i am doing.... i need to act... i can now understand the pressure she is in... the need to find something else something that can keep me going... don't know which issue to solve first ... the Ego, the need, the goal or is it the ability to put in the effort
is this my doctors (the quack) that i wont go to.
its unfair that one should feel this after all the effort you have to put to get here.. you have to put more effort to make this entire experience bearable... why should it be just bearable.....
yeah yeah... cruel world easy to say hard to accept... what do i need to do to be cruel in this cruel world. what can you do?
the entire day felt like one long long long step to tomorrow....
looking forward to a shitty week......
shitty it was but not as bad as i can make it sound...
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