Lord of the Dumb asses

There and back again... a dumb ass's story....
yeah you guessed right i have been watching Lord of the rings these past few days...
and i think i know what Frodo felt like when he saw mount doom....
the one place on middle earth where no one wants to go... is the one place where we have to go.... yeah i get that Sam
looks like i will be seeing my mordor today.. Wondering how I got caught in all this crap... yeah a huge chunk of it alright
singing my songs that will not help me...
[here Pippin starts singing]
The desk is behind and Crap a head..
and there are other places I'd be in....
Crap and Shadow.... idiots and Sauron..
I'd rather be anywhere else...
Crap and Shadow.... idiots and Sauron...
All shall fail... what a f***ing... Joke....
So singing this i was walking towards mordor wondering when Gollum is gonna f*** me real bad... I wish he could have done the job for me....
but the way things are now.... i might just have a mental breakdown and turn into Gollum... or was that Smegol...
So the protagonist Dumb ass has just arrived at mount doom... where guess what happened.... he was asked to wait...
and wait he did alright... it seems the Mountain wasn't ready to blow up yet....
So he came back the next day wondering whether it will happen today....
he was already in a bad mood... as he realized Gollum just stole his Calvin Kline perfume.... of all the things he is thinking about
his f***ing perfume... Wonder what Gandalf would have thought about him.....
So thinking about this the Dumb ass waited for 45 mins and then entered mount doom ... Alright!!!
And Sauron said... when is the last day... do we have to do this now... yeah f***er do this now... That was Gollum not me... Seriously
Then i drop the ring and the mountain doesn’t explode rather it said i will come back to you about that...
Seriously what the F***!!!!