A week in the middle of nowhere

 Laughing silly to a choking numbness

 Forcing an explosion

 To clear this place I've been stuck in

 Why do happy things 

 turn me sad.

The constant stream

Doesn't change it..

How do I wash it out of my heart 

What do I paint

What am I supposed to feel now

This can't last long

I will move on eventually

I will find something else

I will paint it out of me

Tonight.. as I lay here alone

I am bawling here 

but my eyes are dry

I saw images of a world, 

that I believe would come to pass

I know I am a cynic

but who is to blame

I may be lazy

but I feel too close

too close to the truth

They say that I run 

run from trouble

I know it's true

I miss you, 

Miss you everyday

I want to be with you

be there now

I am bawling here 

with my eyes dry

I want to sleep next to you

Not thinking about this world

Everything will burn down

I don't want to see it

x

I've run the circle

It is building up again...
while days have gone by wallowing.

Obsessing over distractions I dig into clay
blind to whats in front of me.

I seem to be running and digging deep every day
For everything that has changed
nothing really has...
I've run the circle
wishing the illusion continued...

The battle awaits.
Beneath the dread, I hope for the silver lining...
while I don the armor again. 

Running away is not the answer

For two days
I ran
and I hid
I ran
and I hid

Running away is not the answer

This hole is not big enough
Two days is not long enough
There is nowhere to go
I dig and I dig
but there is nowhere to hide

I run and I run
I dig and I dig

Hiding is not an option
Running away is not the answer

I eat and I eat
and yet I am empty

I run and I run
I dig and I dig
I eat and I eat

I am empty and there is no escape
Running away is not the answer

Hide

Your truthful words made me hide in shame..
Your words were pure and true
only reflecting what I love about you..
But love I hide now in shame.. 
I am greedy
Unprincipled
Self-centered
.....
So I hide

Tar

Violent madness the sort accompanied by wails and screams..
No calm emptiness of a lobotomy to free.
Just thoughts that pour like boiling tar through me...
Enough enough!!

Porcelain

Scorched earth and pouring rain
From both, shade I seek.
This withered tree is all I see
So over the cliff I run
Hoping for a quick respite.
A world this cruel
A life this fragile