Impotent

I am bored of this game...
My heart is too tired..
This stoic resignation is all I have..
watching you run around in the dark, I sit impotent.

As I crush my dignity with guilt and insecurity.
Unable to squash my ego I wait for annihilation.
Impotent to bring it upon myself, I watch you run around in the dark.

I cannot look you in the eye, all I see is myself falling from grace.
As I fall I scream at my impotence.
So silently I urge you to push me.

towards the end

The shadow lay dark across the landscape...
my mind has been shrouded in defeat.
There are no prophecies to say that green things will grow  once again.
This mind has been burned and smashed.
It is now barren and covered in ashes.

There are no prayers to save me..
or songs to soothe.
No words to give false hope,
only the waking dream that needs to end. 

Phone

Quietly i wait for you to spring to life
with my hopes on you i wait for my chance escape.
the cooing  birds outside say that spring is here
but i wait for you to ring my winter away.
I feel you hoping... hoping
when will you ring and take me away. 

Proof..

My chest rises as I suck in air...
I see myself breathing...
I have to believe that I am alive..
There is no other proof for this..
Is breathing alone proof that I live?
Can I really say that there is life in this body...
I ask you for proof...
I need a proof...
Is my breath of any value to you?
Prove to me, I exist..
Like a planet faraway, with water...
Should I presume there is life?
Is my breath not but water in that planet...

Stinks

You stink of cum...
You stink of distraction...
You stink of yesterday...
You stink of old defeats...
You stink of disappointment...
You stink of doubts..
You reek...
Your smile doesn't hide the stink in your heart..
Your nights stink of fear and heart break...
The stink of hatred is all over you...
You stink of cum... 

Fear

I fear I don't know what you want from me..
I fear I don't know what I want for myself..
I fear a lot these days...
Back to the dark days...
sleepless and hollow nights...

Anchor

I need the world to tell me... what to listen to.. to read... to watch..
have googled the Best list for today..
have lost some of my self.. in this accident...
been stationary for too long... everything has moved so fast..
feeling the relevance of my existence diminish with my every breath...
what holds me here? My anchor what do i do?...

My anchor saves me.. sustains me.. i am alive for and because of my anchor...
where do i go?