Phone

Quietly i wait for you to spring to life
with my hopes on you i wait for my chance escape.
the cooing  birds outside say that spring is here
but i wait for you to ring my winter away.
I feel you hoping... hoping
when will you ring and take me away. 

Proof..

My chest rises as I suck in air...
I see myself breathing...
I have to believe that I am alive..
There is no other proof for this..
Is breathing alone proof that I live?
Can I really say that there is life in this body...
I ask you for proof...
I need a proof...
Is my breath of any value to you?
Prove to me, I exist..
Like a planet faraway, with water...
Should I presume there is life?
Is my breath not but water in that planet...

Stinks

You stink of cum...
You stink of distraction...
You stink of yesterday...
You stink of old defeats...
You stink of disappointment...
You stink of doubts..
You reek...
Your smile doesn't hide the stink in your heart..
Your nights stink of fear and heart break...
The stink of hatred is all over you...
You stink of cum... 

Fear

I fear I don't know what you want from me..
I fear I don't know what I want for myself..
I fear a lot these days...
Back to the dark days...
sleepless and hollow nights...

Anchor

I need the world to tell me... what to listen to.. to read... to watch..
have googled the Best list for today..
have lost some of my self.. in this accident...
been stationary for too long... everything has moved so fast..
feeling the relevance of my existence diminish with my every breath...
what holds me here? My anchor what do i do?...

My anchor saves me.. sustains me.. i am alive for and because of my anchor...
where do i go?

The Hammer

Its so heavy that it might slip away any minute...
As i swing i can feel it slip a little...
Can u feel the weight of it..
I can feel the heat rising in my palm..
Can you feel the pain...
Can you feel the hardness of the wood... the roughness...
I can feel the splinters enter my flesh...
Can you feel the impact..
I can feel my arms vibrate..
Can you feel the ground shaking..
Can you hear me scream..
Can you see my tears..
I can feel the blood pounding in my ears...
I can see my arm turn red from the effort...
Can you see the wall cracking... can you see through the cracks...  

I cannot stay here

Splendid shining crazy sun.. you are blinding me with your beauty...
I fear that you will not be the same... everyday i loose the feeling... you are not as beautiful as you were yesterday...

I should not be here... your too perfect... who will i blame if i stay here... what excuses will i give for my failures...
you are prettier than i could ever capture...

we are awake

Sooooooo we wake to another day of cloudy sky's .... Pang pangs... The air shimmers with memories that don't make sense....

We wake up to a sunny day.... Breath in the fresh air... Rested and in the arms of a1000 suns...

We wake up again... Blinding light and confusion... Sound of the alarm... Dread and hesitation... Denying this day.... Roll up

We wake up... There is this hole... This deep hole that needs to be filled urgently... What do we fill this hole with... Emptiness

We wake up again... There is much to accomplish.. Plans to fulfil activities to be completed.... Boxes to be checked...

Sun shining ... Blinding.... Happy... Warm... Hot... Exhilarating
Cloudy... Raining... Windy... Empty... Sad... Indecisive...

We wake up again... What do you see...